I came across an article the other day titled “Why I Taught My Daughter What A Vibrator Was When She Was Ten Years Old.” I was so excited to read the article and hear about a parent educating their child on these issues at such an early age. For the most part sex and sexuality were not discussed in my house growing up, and mostly all of my sexual experiences were accompanied by feelings of disapproval, guilt, shame, and silence.
I understand now that I am a very sexual being, but growing up, I felt like I was always doing something wrong or inappropriate when it came to my insatiable curiosity about sex. Discussing vibrators at 10 years old seems to make some people squeamish, but I found my first porn in my mom’s bedroom at the age of 11. It was called the Adventures of Dick Black, Black Dick and I can still remember some of the scenes to this day. Ha! I didn’t google it on the internet until this very moment and I was able to find the video cover artwork.
I also stumbled across a website today called Herself that asked a variety of women, when they started to become aware of their sexuality, and the ages they listed in the excerpts below were very young. I think it’s counter productive to think that kids don’t start to think about sex and sexuality until their teen age years. I think it happens way before then and that parents would help their children develop a healthy relationship with their bodies and their sexuality if they discussed it with them early on, until waiting for circumstances to force the discussion.
Here’s a few of the responses from the women interviewed on Herself.com:
“The first time I fell asleep on the corner of a chair and had what I now realize was an orgasm. I must have been around three or four years old. I would place my body perfectly on the corner of a couch or chair until, as I remember telling myself, ‘it felt good’, and then I would fall asleep in that position. I am pretty sure there are pictures somewhere. (laughs)”
“I’d say it wasn’t until Grade 12 that I realized sex was something that people my age were partaking in. I didn’t get my period until Grade 12 so I feel like that was a significant part of realizing what sexuality and being a female was all about.”
“I’ve known for as long as I can remember that my sexuality is different from other people’s sexuality. But I really became aware of it when I was 13 – when I saw porn for the first time. That’s when I realized that, yes, I’m different, but there are also a lot of people out there like me.”
“I was twelve when I first started masturbating. I was in the tub cleaning myself when I discovered my clitoris and realized it felt good to touch it. I started taking a lot of baths! (laughs)”
“Well, I hit puberty young and I had Internet access… I found all the things I liked, things that felt good when I did them to myself.”
“I had my first orgasm at age eight when I saw a topless woman on the drive-in screen adjacent to the screen we were watching. I had no idea what happened or why it happened and it scared the shit out of me! That moment stirred my attraction for women and for discovering my body.”
“When I was 11. I developed very early and, at that age, already looked like I was 18. I was downtown with my friends and we were all wearing typical attire for that age (jean-shorts and t-shirts), but the men we passed paid attention to me and not my friends, who looked like typical 11-year-olds. The feeling of their eyes on me, and their reactions to me, made me very aware of my sexuality and how powerful it could be.”
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